June 2, 2011

A DAY IN THE LIFE

7:00 A.M. – Ariel is up! She comes downstairs, hops into our bed, and demands Mickey. Mouse, that is, clearly. Boring, but when compared to the dreck that is Thomas the Tank Engine or the unbelievable insipid-ness of Dora the Explorer, it’s practically Modern Family. So on it goes. After an episode she wants breakfast, but only while wearing her Princess Tiana dress. I stumble out of bed and get her to brush her teeth and get dressed, and I was only told that I’m not being nice like 5 times, so not too bad all things considered.

8:00 A.M. – Ariel eats breakfast while I stand there fantasizing. Sure, there was a time where my fantasies would involve Jessica Alba and a secluded beach. Now it’s imagining a world in which Dunkin Donuts delivered coffee to your door. Attempts to engage Ariel in conversation…are not successful. So its one of THOSE mornings, huh? Okey dokey.

8:15 A.M. – Ariel is done with breakfast, the wife is dealing with Jasmine who’s now awake, and Ariel wants to play. I’m supposed to hold her lovey while she pretends to be Evil Dr. Pork Chop from the Toy Story movies and grab it away from me. Then we switch characters. The thing to know about imaginative play is that it’s REALLY good for your kids. It really stimulates their brain and is essential for full development. The other thing is that it freakin’ sucks for parents. 8:45 A.M., when we have to leave for school, can’t get here fast enough.

8:45 A.M. – We’re off to school! After I get her situated, I stop at Dunkin for coffee for me, Starbucks for a latte for the wife, and head back home. One thing about working from home, not much of a commute.

9:15 A.M. – 12:00 P.M. – Work. Enjoying how the stress of work pales in comparison to the stress of enduring imaginative play.

12:00 P.M. – 12:30 P.M. – Lunch!! Woo-hoo! Me time!! I eat while reading baseball articles on the web and checking out Facebook. Sure, it’s an early lunch, but if I’m going to eat with the family at 5:30 (a nice hour before I’m particularly interested in dinner), I need to eat this early or I’ll have no appetite.

12:30 P.M. - 5:30 P.M. – Work. Feels like ME time, though clearly, not so much.

5:30 P.M. – Meet friends for a few beers, grab dinner at this amazing Mexican place in town, and catch a late movie.

5:35 P.M. – finish up 5-minute fantasy about what I wish I were going to be doing for the rest of the evening. Prepare myself for what I actually will be doing.

5:35 P.M. – 7:45 P.M. – Hardest part of the day, so lets game our game face on. Dinner typically involves the following super occurrences. Asking Ariel how her day was. Hearing she doesn’t want to talk about it. Being asked by Ariel if she can have dessert yet. And again. And again. Ariel getting up from the table 5 times for a variety of non-reasons, and snapping at us when we ask her to sit back down. Then baths for Ariel and Jasmine, then the delight that is getting Ariel in pj’s and ready for bed. Wife feeds Jasmine and gets her down while I read to Ariel. Snuggling with Ariel makes up for all of the difficulties. Well, no, that’s preposterous, but it’s nice. J

7:45 P.M. -8:15 P.M. - I do the dishes and clean the kitchen while Wife snuggles with Ariel to finish her off. Kind of like bringing in Papelbon to close out a game. It’s not a 1-2-3 inning like she were Mariano Rivera or something, but she gets the job done.

8:15 P.M. – 9:00 P.M. – Work. No longer enchanted by it at this hour. Drained by the bedtime routine. Just want a vodka tonic and to sit and watch TV.

9:00 P.M. – 10:30 P.M. - Vodka tonic and sit and watch TV with Wife.

10:30 P.M. – bed.

11:30 P.M. – 7:00 A.M. – sleep, interrupted an average of 3 times by the girls. Lather, rinse, repeat.