June 3, 2011

Any parent of a toddler will tell you that TV aimed at the under 5-set isn’t particularly interesting. Sure, we all have fine memories of Sesame Street, and I used to love such classics as The Electric Company, the Magic Garden and ZOOM. But obviously if asked to list my favorite shows, the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse isn’t right there in the mix with The West Wing, The Wire and The Sopranos. There are a couple shows that are actually pretty clever (Chuggington is occasionally cute, and the Backyardigans is very well done, but of course Ariel for whatever reason isn’t a big fan), but for the most part it’s slim pickings. This morning’s choice was Team Umizoomi, which is about a team of 3 very small cartoon super-heroes: a boy named Geo, a girl named Millie, and a robot named…Bot. Something tells me the writing room wasn’t up all night brainstorming brilliantly clever names for the robot. Anyway, they use their “mighty-mighty-math powers” to fight crime. Well, actually they don’t fight crime, they perform amazingly unnecessary acts like bring little kids (actual kids, not cartoons, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear to me) milk for their snack or find a missing stuffed animal. Geo is a pretty powerful individual, despite his diminutive size (and we’re not talking Gary Coleman or Verne Troyer here, we’re talking like the size of a pencil). He can literally create ANYTHING out of thin air, by using his super shapes. Now, I think we can all agree that’s a useful skill to have. In fact, one could argue that Geo should be using that power to do things just slightly more helpful to society (I don’t know, maybe making food or fossil fuels or something?) than checking out the last known whereabouts of Teddy the Bear. But hey, it’s a free country, if that’s what he wants to do, that’s his business. Now, his sister Millie is supposed to be his equal, which of course is commendable. No reason why Geo’s sister should be any less powerful than him, right? Well, Millie’s power is that she can change her dress to be any pattern she wants. AND, she can make other things magically turn into the same pattern as her dress! Isn’t that fantastic??? Her brother can create a car, house, hell, even a rocket launcher from a few shapes on his belt, and Millie’s contribution to the team is that she can go from gingham to plaid without walking to her closet. Now, I’m not the most PC guy in the world, but seriously, this show needs to re-evaluate itself a bit. I’m just saying.